Written by Renee Dingwall, Palmerston North City Council
I returned recently from Retreat One (Va Tupuna) of The Mana Moana Experience, and it has already massively impacted my life.
I arrived on the first day, still in battle mode, ready to justify all the reasons why I needed to be here.
I am Pasifika because...
I am a leader because...
I can handle this course because...
We started with a Mihi Whakatau led by the 2020 Alumni - which was entirely appropriate and set the scene for all that we were about to learn. Standing in our own authenticity. Passing the knowledge on, sharing our stories, as our ancestors once did.
I quickly realised that I didn't need to be in battle mode, because every leader here was going through similar experiences and feelings to me. We were all fighting the notion of being the 'token Poly', the one Pasifika person in industries dominated by those who didn't understand our people, our challenges, our opportunities. I realised that these incredibly intelligent, massive-hearted people, were MY people. They understood. And together, we were here to support and uplift each other. I had been processing this throughout the first couple of days and, during the evening Launch on day two, I had a ‘lightbulb moment'.
My parents had attended the Launch to support my current journey, and that in itself was emotional. As I walked up to my Dad, someone said, "I was wondering what this palangi was doing here". I heard my Dad laugh and start to justify himself - his history, his background, his connection to our islands, his Samoan-ness. And it hit me. After all this time, I realised that my dad had faced some of the same challenges that I did. As a white-ish Samoan with mixed heritage, he lives in both Pasifika and Western worlds, and has had to 'fight' to be accepted by both. Like me, he has had to figure out his space in these worlds and how to connect them - how to live authentically in both spaces, without compromising who he is and what his values are. We had never talked about this, and it was emotional for me to think of him in that way.
Retreat One has given me time and space (and a beautiful setting) in which to reflect on why I do the things that I do: I have sat on my fala / mat and meditated; I have shared kava and stories; I have thought about what I needed to receive and what I wanted to give to each speaker; I have laughed, cried, got angry, and laughed again.
The Mana Moana Experience is more than your typical Pasifika leadership programme. It nourishes you from your roots up, challenges how you look at the world and the way you look at yourself. It is personal growth and professional development. It is connections, networking and understanding 'the va'.
This has sent me home with a passion to continue to seek out our Pasifika community, 'teu le va', build relationships and empower our people to use their voice and stand up for the things that they want and need.
And that was only Retreat One…
Renée’s participation in The Mana Moana Experience is supported by JR McKenzie Trust.